Juha-Matti Santala
Community Builder. Dreamer. Adventurer.

A few core memories

This blog post is my participation in this month’s Indie Web Carnival. It’s also my first time participating as I learned about the whole thing at the end of 2023. This month’s carnival is hosted by https://foreverliketh.is/ who chose positive internalization as this month’s theme:

Your entry for this month’s carnival will have you intentionally seek out positive memories. Memories that remind you of the good parts of yourself; the facets of your being that you want to see more of, that you wish to nurture and grow. By reliving them and seeing yourself in that positive light, you help to internalize a healthier, and more accurate, self-perception.

It’s important to note that effective internalization is about emotions. It’s not enough to think that your memory is positive, it has to FEEL positive. If you sincerely want the benefits, then this is not something you can “logic” your way out of. Don’t listen to your brain, listen to your heart.

Not an easy task for me

When I read the introduction post the first time, I felt this was an interesting topic. And don’t get me wrong, it absolutely is. But it’s hard. I had to really really think and dig deep to find "Memories that remind you of the good parts of yourself. That maybe tells a lot about me. And even harder was writing about those things openly.

I have no trouble writing about the negative parts and the struggles. My mental health, difficulty in finding my place and all that. But to write about “the good parts of myself”, yikes. To do that means I have to claim I’m good at something or that there are good parts of me.

I have a lot of good memories but I don’t associate any of them with myself but rather they were good memories because of other people.

Last summer, I went through a decade worth of photos, covering most of my adult life and I did find some positive moments there.

A core memory #1: my first talk in PyCon CZ stage

One of my dearest memories from the recent times is from June of 2019 when I got an opportunity to travel to Ostrava, Czechia to speak in PyCon CZ. I had just gotten my first Developer Advocate position in my then-current job and this talk was my first international conference talk.