2.5 Self-Connection


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Video Transcript So now let’s turn our attention towards action. With this simple step of self connection, this is the cure for disconnection that we just learn about. So remember now is quite important to just continually connect this back to the fetish. Because we’ve now strayed very far down from the original purpose. And I wouldn’t want you to forget what this is all about. If we want to heal the fetish, we really need to heal the cause of the fetish, which is the subconscious sense of inadequacy. To do that we need to work our way up starting at this disconnection from ourselves that we’ve just learned about, it’s so easy to get lost in all this psychology and, and forget how this all fits together. And then it becomes harder to stay motivated. So remember, the Fetish is inadequacy, but it’s subconscious inadequacy, which is repeatedly strengthened by internalizing shame, leading to disconnection with ourselves. So now, we’ve got to connect with ourselves. It’s the first step in the healing process. Now, what does it mean to connect with ourselves? Really, it means giving yourself time and attention, giving yourself pleasure, and enjoyment. It’s the work of listening to yourself, which you do by monitoring your needs. Now, there are many needs that you might have. But really, this is just taking care of yourself, and finding out what you need, and then taking the time to give that to yourself. So for me, I used to be very attached to my work, I’ve said that before, this was the outlet for my internal inadequacy. I believed that if I worked hard and achieved lots, then I would, then that would sort of counteract my internal shame. And every moment that I spent working, I thought it was a moment wasted. If I wasn’t working, it’s just a waste of time. Therefore, it became really hard for me to actually spend time on myself. Other people might have different attachments, instead of work, it may be people or parenting or your role in a community or a sort of subculture, it can be very hard to take some time out to do what essentially feels like nothing. Because these attachments are ways of dealing with inadequacy, we develop the belief that we need to do them. So try and see what happens when you take some time just for yourself, just to relax. This is not mindless indulgence, though, is taking care of yourself, by being attuned to what you need. So if you listen to yourself, and if you feel tension and stress, then maybe take some time to have a bath instead of for me, it was work. That was my main attachment. And again, it was very hard to actually take the time out because I thought it was a waste of time. The guy with the nice guy stereotype would think that if he’s taking time for himself, when you know there are other people that he could be helping or whatever, then that’s a waste of time. Or he might say it’s selfish. But this is just the process of self connection. And you need to go through this, to really to, to give your needs the attention they deserve. Because we’ve become so disconnected from our needs, or disconnected from every part of ourself. The first thing that we can connect with quite easily is what we need. So try and do that. And it may be anything, maybe it might be having a little nap. I mean, getting a good night’s sleep is very important. It might be playing or just goofing off, or you know, listening to music, but just take the time to do the things that you need to do for yourself. And it might be going to the gym. Again, it’s not mindless indulgence. You have to be willing to delay gratification, so that something else more conducive to your growth might take place. What this means is if you feel oh, I need sweets I need I need lots of calories and tasty food. Well, that’s mindless indulgence at that point. And that’s not quite what you need. Again, it’s the work of thinking what is best for you. And what’s best for you might be it might be exercise. So take some time, time off from all your attachments and whatever they may be. Take some time I’m off to go for a walk and it’s as simple as that

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Author(s) || Connor McGonigal

Website || howtostopbeingacuckold.com

Article || 2.5 Self-Connection

Date || Between January 29th and November 14th, 2018

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contributors: ["Connor McGonigal"]



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